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Cappuccino

she was

not what i wanted her

to be, but


who is? hell

i wasn't anything to

shake a stick at


she's still

around

tennessee trances


and

trips to the store

boarded-up steakhouses


and wadded

up pieces of

paper


cancelled checks and

coupons

from her purse


her eyes

are hazel

i think


she was always

wanting

something she could only see inside her mind


she wanted

him to love her back

the way she


loved him

hungry and a little mean

keeping him inside the house


but he

was always escaping

telling her he fell to


sleep

on the couch at

the union hall


but that is

not fair; she

wanted what she deserved


she wanted

she wanted

she wanted


i guess

i don't know

i never did


know who i was

either

that is so fucking unimportant


she stopped

calling me

and so what i do is


i think about

her calls i never answered

and this too:


her trailer, 2002

the mountains

the walks there


right upon arrival

to get away from her

grass and rocks and water


and sky

then back to the trailer

where


she would tell

us about

her neighbor who's


crazy

and always asks her

to buy her a cappuccino


when she goes

to the

gas station



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