You Make Me Feel

This is my

afternoon constitutional now

I guess: walking down my

favorite

rundown

street

Lincolnshire

where lawns are yellow-green

wads of paper

and the cars in every

driveway give off

a feeling like

they're missing

something deep inside

sidewalks

like sciatica

made of

concrete and

little pieces of litter

and so walking

I remember andy

warhol saying something

about death

being

embarrassing

maybe because

of the houses?

they all look like

elizabeth taylor

in that famous photo from

studio 54

the one where she's real fat

and sitting between halston

and liza minnelli

with betty ford on the other side

of halston

and these houses were probably built

in that era of

sad disco chatting

on uncomfortable couches

in a place

where ugly people can only get in

if they're rich and famous, those

old glamorous faces trying to

be into it all

smiles like lost postcards

2-story houses

with double chins

and floral curtains

kind of like caftans

1978 or so

warhol was there too

in his fright wig

pale as a little pile of coke

never smiling

but taking it all in

like a ghost waiting

for people to

scream

he knew everything

didn't he? so smart

he could act dumb

and his art

kind of dumb too but in the most

vicious and brilliant way

some man-hater shot him

in his office and what? 19 years later

he died from an irregular heartbeat

in the hospital after

having his gallbladder taken out

just stupid

and then almost

done walking

it starts to rain

but it's sunny so it feels

like fake rain

movie rain

manufactured just for me and

my stupid movie

and I think

all of these people in all of these

sad old elizabeth-taylor houses

will die and leave all their shit behind

and when I get back

i look that quote up, the warhol one, you know,

to get it right

and it was this:

"dying is the most embarrassing

thing that can ever happen to you,

because someone’s

got to take care of

all your details."